Dreamscapes

I've always closely related spirituality, and the realm of the paranormal.

And, growing up with alot of religious strings attached to me, I've always felt close to both subjects.

In my lifetime, I've had some crazy things happen to me, that some might consider unexplainable. I've had some paranormal experiences that some might consider a product of someones' imagination..or, an exaggeration of sorts.

A few years ago, I got wrapped up into this game. The "Ouija board". And, ever since...the strangest things started happening to me. Especially in my sleep.

Occasionally, when I was younger, I'd dream of random events, then...later they'd happen. And, I always battled with my horrible nightmares. Waking me in the middle of the night.

It seemed for the longest time, that they seemed to cease as long as someone was next to me. Anyone.

Over the years they've come and gone...sometimes they're scary. Sometimes not as much.

But in some form, its something that never goes away. And, it seems it grows more....intense as time goes by.

Lately I've been having these random flashes. Of things happening. Mostly, to people that I've never met before.
I'm not asleep...and in fact..my eyes arent even fully closed. And, it freaks me out.
Something about seeing a random face all bloody and crying..that...gives you the heebie jeebies.

This morning I took a nap, and had some alarming dreams. Other than..some creepy looking things...I was the only person in the dreams... I'd be called different names of people I know and care about, and different scary scenarios seemed to play out...leading to unpleasant outcomes.

At the end of my last dream..there was something that said "4:44" and "help me". (lol)

I woke up....freaked out..and stayed awake.
Tonight, upon going to sleep...I started dreaming.
I was awake in my dream. I was reading the newspaper while P was asleep. Then all of a sudden an alarm clock went off. I glanced, it was 4:44...and I started hearing all of these blood curdling screams. And it was almost like...I went backwards.....I started seeing all these things...different people I'd never seen dying.
Flashes of the Halocaust. Children being forced to do things...Different things from my childhood. My grandmothers face. It just kept going.
I knew I was asleep..And I desperately wanted to wake up because it was scaring me.
Finally I woke up...and seemed to instantly jump in bed.
I was panicked. And scared.
And, now I'm writing this because I was afraid that if I went right to sleep..I'd fall back into it.

I don't believe that theres this big giant marshmallow man...kinda paranormal...but, I do think theres things that happen that have no explanation. Things of spirits, and ghosts that are here for whatever reason.
However, when things like this enter your dream world, you find yourself thinking.. "oh my fucking god...this is a scary movie waiting to happen...soon im gonna start contacting spirits, moving things with my mind...turning into a witch with Fairuza Bulk, seeing (more) dead people...and eventually spening my time in an insanse asylum...where i'll get sucked into my mattress ala Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm St."

I'm dramatic.

Anyway..I'm done now. Just had to vent.
Though..I'm paranoid about this 4:44 thing...lol.
Maybe I'm watching too much LOST.
*doom doom*