Optimism.

It's ironic how it seems to always take a bad thing, to birth a good thing.

I laid in bed last night, and I actually couldn't stop smiling. I can't tell you the last time I couldn't stop smiling. It's weird, because I've got some very hard things going on right now.
But, for the first time in my life, I'm not looking at them as set-backs or obstacles to prevent me from trying.
I'm looking at them as tests to my character. Things there for me to overcome.

One in particular hangs over me. Instead of shutting down, and acting afraid...I move forward in hope.

It's so amazing to myself how completely rejuvenated I am.
I feel brand new. And...for the first time in a long time, I feel just a little bit proud of myself.

Just writing those words...is like..WHAT?!?!

I'm literally freaking myself out.
I stood looking outside yesterday, and I just thought...God. How beautiful the world is.
How amazing the entrie place is. And, so many of us waste or time being selfish. Wrapped up in our own web of....whatever our webs are made of.

And, I'm just so excited to feel this way.

The real task at hand, isn't convincing myself. Though, that is a difficult one. The real hard part is changing the minds of the people that know me, or have known me.
Opening the worlds' eyes to the person I'm determined to remain, is alot harder than one might think. Especially when you've been so messed up, and....just...mean.

I laid in bed, and I just thought of all the times that something good happened to me, and how I managed to squander it, because I was in such a negative place.
I'm happy to say that, those days are gone.

It's so weird, writing things that aren't dreary. It's strange not to be using some metaphor of withering branches or darkened roads, to say how I'm feeling.

I feel....like something amazing has swept through me, and I suddenly see what myself, and most people have been missing.

With that said. I want to leave with some quotes that I've found that, inspire me. If you have any, feel free to leave them in the comments. (Play along this time...lazy blog reader people)

Rollo May
"The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt."

Jason Jordan
"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

"Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll." ~Author Unknown

Albert Einstein
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

“There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.Some are running scared.Some are coming home.Some tell lies to make it through the day.Others are just now facing the truth.Some are evil men, at war with good.And some are good, struggling with evil.6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and all you need is one” -One Tree Hill-