Tip me over and pour....me...out.

I changed the look of my blog, because I wanted to incorporate change.
Tonights' been a bad night, and I find myself feeling very helpless in several situations. Maybe I'm not changing as much as I thought. Who knows.
This is what came out of me, its crap. but its my crap.


I feel like a bubble, about to burst.
A half dead camel, dying of thirst,
I walk around like im the first to feel the worst.
I feel hallow inside, like my best friend just died.
Take all the tears ive cried, put em in a double wide
And look, theres my past, drowning inside.
So many things I want to say, A million and three mistakes to take away.
Fifty seven emotional debts to repay. One persons' opinion to sway.
All I do is fight for hope.
A crowd of insecurites all chanting nope. I've created a dance craze called the just me mope.
Everyday I hang myself with the same metaphoric rope.
Everything seems like an obstacle. Suddenly my life is a giant icicle.
Tomorrow I put the training wheels back on my bicycle.
Two seperate beings, complete different flee-ings.
And there I was waving bye to love from afar.
I've got no car, and my job is at leather daddy bar.
My confidence is at a negative fourteen. My roomate is a drag queen.
I've seen more things than most have seen, I've been upside down, inside out and everything inbetween.
I haven't slept more than 3 hours a day for the past week. I miss having someone to sit with me as I watch reruns of Dawsons Creek. I miss my freak.
My dads in jail dying, and i sit here trying, to be strong for the boy adore.
It's been seven long days, of a really bad phase, And we're both at opposite ends of the maze.
I can't make a sound, theres no solid ground, and my heart is in a box at the lost and found.
I can't help either of them. not him and not him.
And because im a mess with flaw after flaw, i find ways to blame myself for it all.